Whispered In The Wind

Whispered In The Wind
Just a fairy blowing in the wind, singing tales to the west wind

Monday, May 14, 2012

To My Middle School Self

Dear Middle School Me,

Honey, I know
I know what it's like to be born with 2 hearts and extra sensitive skin
to pour everything into everyone and just end up playing therapist for the world
Honey, I know what it's like to realize your sequined dresses have begun to pull across your chest
and red clogs grown too small
It's called growing up and honey, I promise it hurts a lot
but not too much
you're strong, girl
It will just take a while for you to realize flowers are a form of strength
they are in danger of picking, of being squished in clamped sweaty palms, so very delicate
but they come up every spring and they grow roots deep
You're always going to be a flower
And yes girl, you're strong
like a wild rose or a white callalily
And I've smeared enough eyeliner on my nose to know that you are never going to be a perfectly painted canvas
And that's alright, you never needed to be anyways
You have your daddy's sea sparkle eyes and those high cheek bones
You can't see them yet, but you're going to thin out
you won't get any taller
but you'll always be talented at hiding in cupboards and running in heels
It's going to take a while to feel pretty, but one day you are going to be able to look at yourself in a window reflection and whisper “That girl, she's not bad.”
You are always going to cry over math, it doesn't get any easier
You will spend long nights cursing geometry and the twisted mathematicians who created compasses
but you are going to learn not to define yourself by what you're bad at, because you'll find a heartbeat in words
Keep writing, honey
Honey, I know it's hard to be an flower child with a soft soul, but I promise you as long as you keep writing
you'll never be alone
So don't be so guarded, let yourself breath and never ever be ashamed of your tears
they will become a strength
This world is too dry, it's going to need your watering
Honey, you will never be able to change the world on your own or find your reflection in mud
so don't be afraid to hold someone's hand when they need it, but more importantly
be honest when you need a hand
I've watched you pretend for years that you don't need people.
Honey, I know you well enough to know you are always going to be a horrible liar
You try so hard to control, to be the impact slammed against cracked souls
but influence, don't control
Honey girl, I know
I know, honey, I know
And yes, in case you were wondering,
You are beautiful despite all the inadequacy you feel
But no, you are never going to be good enough for yourself
We'll learn to accept that one day.
And it will take a while to find yourself, but one day you will be able to say
“honey, I know you.”
And honey, you will get stronger, it will all get better
I promise
Because honey, I know.
I've been there.

"I want warm summer nights, to lie in a hammock, staring at the stars, telling you stories. "

"I want warm summer nights, to lie in a hammock, staring at the stars, telling you stories. "
"When asked not to make waves, I just smiled and said, don't worry this is just a ripple"