~The night walked down the sky with the moon in her hands Frederick Knowles~
This is for those late nights when you can't sleep. When the wind it too hot and your thoughts are too warm. This is for those silly worries that you shouldn't even care about, and those little heart pricks that shouldn't even hurt. This is for the way you don't understand where your life is heading, or where you are going for that matter. This is for the dizziness you feel when you are confused about the slightest things. This is for being a teenager and all your pent up teenage angst.
This is for the crickets outside who have no idea what it means to feel a million things at once.
This is for the advice, “You should write every day..if you write once a month no one will follow you.” Or the added in words in my head, “No one will care.” This is for conviction that seems steadfast,but never lasts. This is for the poet that is inside of us, that died at a young age. This if for trying to revive yours, but its dying again. Or maybe I'm not good enough, anymore. This is for the moments we laugh so hard, because something isn't all that funny, it just ought to be.
A lot of things ought to be, but they never will, so why does it matter at all?
This is for talking in riddles to sound all profound, but not meaning a lot. This is for realizing you miss someone for the first time and being afraid of that feeling. Missing some one means you care. It's something that feels a lot like need, but isn't. Missing means you are actually genuinely attached to a person and attached enough to feel they are far away.Attached means they can tug and you can get hurt. Isn't it funny how sometimes the people closest to you are the ones you miss the most?
The ones that are the farthest away?
Is that funny at all? Or is that just plain sad. Or maybe it is sad like sad clown, it really ought not be sad because it is actually funny. Or maybe it is just scary. A lot of things are scary, like right now. This is for when you were little and thought the scariest thing was the dark. You had the innocence of being unaware the scariest dark, resides in people's hearts. This is for sentences that are not supposed to rhyme, but do anyways, because sentences never gave a cent about what you thought. You know who doesn't give a cent about what you think?
Everyone gives a whole lot of cents for what you think. Even the ones who pretend they don't. Some day they might go broke paying for your thoughts. That's food for thought, and some one has to pay for that food. This is for the moments to feel like crying, for no reason at all. And not because of happiness or sadness or even madness. Just being. Sometimes just being is enough to make someone cry. Not because it is a bad thing, just because it is. This is for the few people, who don't understand what that means and never will. They may be lucky, or maybe not.
But I never did believe in luck.
This is for the words left unsaid here, not because I am scared but because they aren't ready. This if for telling myself that, even if it is a lie. This is for being a difficult person, but not unreasonable. This is about being who I am, because being someone else off stage, was never anything I was anything good at. This is for being a name that you will one day know and maybe even care about..but then again maybe not.
This is for being.
(Photo from the Ballerina Project)